UK day 4

Same as usual….but a bit late for breakfast as I was whelmed last night. There weren’t many activities so we chilled out at the library. The network is fast and stable. After spending a few hours there, we went for lunch. I had another dish added to my godlike list, the mash potato with mushroom sauce and sausages. The slight thought of it has made my mouth watered. Who says English food is bad? ok, apart form the mash potatoes, they are bad........

UK day 3

I woke up as usual at 6.30 am and took a freezing bath. Then I had to go around waking some other guy for breakfast. After the hearty breakfast, we went on a tour at jubilee campus. Jubilee campus… I would say it’s the best campus among the 4 Nottingham campuses, being the University Park, Sutton Bonnington, Jubilee Campus, Ningbo Campus, and the Malaysia Campus. The buildings are new and modern. The interior of the buildings can be compared to a 5 star hotel anytime. There is an artificial lake in the jubilee campus as the lake is a trademark for Nottingham campuses. The surrounding area is nice and it is now home for cod fish, birds, ducks and swans. The only down part if the campus is that the area is full of dangerous land mines strategically placed by the birds there. Everything is within walking distance here, thank god…. The tour around jubilee campus took us about half an hour. After that I went back to my room for shower while Shara went for the Health Registration. The trip to Nottingham city centre comes after that. It is a nice place…not much cars like some bukit bintang place…we toured around the city trying to get a good bargain at the contract phone. Unfortunately, the price is too expensive compared to the price offered in Low Yat. Dinner was not available due to the trip. So we have to get our own food somewhere in Nottingham. Shara recommended Wagamama, a Japanese restaurant whose chefs are blacks… The other fellas were having a second thought as the food was pricy. They have decided to go Subway (a chain food restaurant, much like Mc D or KFC). While they were walking towards their destination, Shara and I turned back for Wagamama. I had Chicken Katsu Curry while Shara had some ramen. The food was godlike and big portion. No photos were taken as we ate the food in less than 3 minutes…haha…

After the satisfying dinner, we went back to our halls to get ready for the main event, which was a trip to the famous Oceana club in Nottingham city. I would never, ever forget this night as I had a very unpleasant encounter in the club. The nightmare begins when Shara, me, Ben and some friends were playing hide and seek with a friend. We hid at some corner of the club until a group of ladies (not chics due to their age) came in, bringing along big bottles of alcohols. They started drinking and soon after, they began to dance. We plan to get back to the upper levels but when I was about to leave the place, one of the ladies (the inhumanly fat and disgusting one, twice the size of Shara) suddenly grabbed me by my waist and started dancing with me. I’ve tried to resist her by pushing her away but she was too strong for me. She performed the strip dance on me, with me being the pole, and she touched some part of my chest plus rubbing the fat big boobs on it. It felt like water balloons. The only difference is that it is filled with fat.I cant really say:” get the hell off me!” as she can overpower me easily. I took the chance to escape when she was unaware of me….. I wouldn’t mind if a hot blondie dance with me…but that one is a hell of a monster...Later on, a chic tried to “tackle” me when I was buying my drink… She was behind me, tapping my shoulder. Fearing of meeting another “pig demon”, I ignored her totally… Roughly at 1.30 am, I went back to my university hall, tired and battered.

UK day 2

Woke up at 7.30 am at went for breakfast at 8am in the Harry Potter room. The breakfast is quite ok…2 huge sausages, an egg plus some hashbrowns. I love the cereals, not too sweet, not too “artificial”….just nice. Shara did something that not even the greatest spy in the world can beat. He went for a second helping, (the rules say everyone can have only 1 helping). He took of his jacket and wala, the guy gave his another set of breakfast. Shara’s skill in disguise is truly amazing. We wandered around the campus in the whole morning. I tried to open a bank account but the queue is too long. Britons just love queues and you can't cut it like any Malaysians would do cause they are gonna beat you up for that. Trust me, they will.

The medical/heath registration for my hall comes after that. I went in and filled up the forms and handed over to the medical officers. The officer asked me whether I had taken any of the listed vaccinations. I am not sure of the last one in the list but it does sounds familiar, so I told her “yes” and I’m all good. Juanda and Karim were jabbed. Juanda took 1 injection while Karim took 2. (Juanda insisted in taking only 1…haha) We strolled around the Trent building (the clock tower). One thing common for all Nottingham universities is that the main building is always the best….5 stars decoration inside. Even though the building is more than hundred years old, it has an automatic door system, which sadly to say that the better and modern (country name) campus is actually the outdated one. After that, we tried to search for Shara and ask him to join us for lunch. Shara told us that he is somewhere near the food court. We went up there and saw some dancing practice or performance there. Trying to see whether Shara was among them, we went near the room and took a peep. The girl saw us and asked us to join but we left hurriedly (sounds like peeping toms hgere). To our horror, she chased after us and said:” Come , join us for the dance. We have too much girls in there and we need some guys.” I wouldn’t want to “impress” the ladies with my superb dancing skills, so I rejected her offer and told the girl that we are searching for our friend. She then walked off in disappointment. (actually the last sentence is bullshit….) We then took our pathetic lunch in the café. The food was average at best, but still better than some café in the university with the same name but with an additional country name behind it. We went back to our rooms and slipped into oblivion (sleeping) for 3 hours…until I had a ring in my stomach…(he’s good, getting me to release all the stuff inside before dinner…dinner was nice…I had some salad, lamb with mash potatoes and potato wedges…as well as apple crumbs for dessert. Forgot to take the pictures of the food as we finished it within 3 minutes…) We went for some movies organized by the student union (James Bond: Casino Royale) but it’s full of people. (I only wanted to see the part where Bond got hit in the balls) Failed to get a seat inside, we headed back to our rooms. On the way it rained, so I took out my mini umbrella but it was useless. The wind is quite strong at that time, I opened up my umbrella and it blew into a shape that won’t shelter me from the rain. Feeling cold and almost freeze to death, we went for some hot chocolatemilk (40 p). Sipping a hot drink in the cold night is truly satisfying until some guy dropped his 20p on the floor. He tried to search for it. I told him to let it be, maybe something wants the money. He ignored my words and continued his search. After 10 minutes, he found the 20p but he spilled his chocolate milk which is still half full….20p gone in the wind…..it is destined.

UK Day 1….

After 13 hours of torment on the plane ....I had back pain, neck-pain, shoulder-pain n butt-pain (for sitting too long on the plane and not something funny). Finally we arrived at the i-don’t-know-why-so-many-people-want-to-come-to-this-country-as-there-is-nothing-great-here country. The immigration section was full of people..roughly the scene where thousands of football fanatics trying to rush into the stadium….Juanda, and his friend Karim had to do the x-ray thing before they are allow to enter the country. I, a genius had my x-ray report ready at hand and was allowed to go through immediately.
First thing i did when I arrived in the UK was paying a retarded 20 pounds/ RM 140 (at that time) for my additional luggage (they will move your huge luggage for free and allow only a small hand-carry luggage on the coach….i had 2 “small” luggage while juanda had a big camping bag ….and yea..i had to pay and not juanda….********( foul word here)

The trip to Nottingham was 3 hours ++…and the reason why it takes so long isn’t because of the traffic-jam..no..the traffic is smooth..and not because of some-retarded minister in some country who always wants to build fly-overs and highways which do nothing but worsen the traffic. The true reason is that the UK people drives very, very slowly, even though they are in some fancy cars like Porsche or Ferrari…. The trip further worsen my butt-ache as the ride was really bumpy.. There is one thing I would like to compliment about Malaysia highways is…the highway is beautiful…Unlike UK highways…you’ll get to see the same view until you reached some place…juanda and karim were bored to death on the bus while I was looking at the super-cars on the road… Here is something that I have observed during the ride…

Malaysia cars = UK cars
Proton Wira = BMW 5, 7 series
Proton Waja = Mercedes Benz E class
Kancil/Kelisa = VW Bettle/ Mini Cooper
Proton Perdana = Porsche 911
Proton Gen 2 = Peugeot

And I’ve seen a lot of Bentley (any kind), Ferraris..Porsches and even Rolls Royce Phantom on the road..a bit sick of the view…Now I want to get a look at the famous James Bond Car—Aston Martin….

We arrived at our temporary halls for the welcome programme…Shara is in Cripps hall while the rest of us are located in Derby Hall…Cripps Hall looks like a military barrack..there’s a huge square in the middle of the building and all the buildings are chain together, forming a square which looks like a fort…As for Derby Hall, the place looks like a Prison..watched Prison Break before? There is only 1 toilet in every floor, which means we have to get in a gay orgy party every time we want to use it…(male and female occupants are separated)

Nottingham Uversity is oversized…imagine we have to walks miles to reach the Portland Building ….and to Shara’s room… Walking in the open area is like walking in a fridge / freezer (at night)…There is a Millenium Park here..(the name sounds nice but the park has only some broken fountains and weird rocks in display..oh yea..some fish in the ponds as well)..We went to the Tour around Uni thing, and it’s exactly like the one you saw in the movie Road Trip, except that the guide is SANE…

The famous Nottingham lake is full of ducks and……shit……yes…we have to avoid the grass at all cost as there is no where safe…talk about random spots..no..they are everywhere..they are like rocks in the garden… Shara even showed us the apples trees where he stole some of them..according to him, the apples are tasty…He even stole some cakes and biscuits which has the sign- “20 pennies a piece”..Don’t blame him, blame the Uni..This is a welcome week programme, at least give us some free food…

Lunch was ok....Juanda had some KFC style fried chicken except that it is smaller and saltier..2.80 pounds/40k rupiah..I had some rice with beef-tomato gravy…3.89 pounds / RM 27++….Dinner was free though, we had to line up and get our food…sounds like prison inmates, no? The dining area is decorated with long tables and benches..yes..no chairs..This is the place where all the prison inmates are going to dig in…. If I put in a much more pretty view here…imagine the dinner scene in Harry Potter 1…. We had some tasteless pasta with turkey meatballs.a huge BANANA..very huge indeed..3x bigger and longer than Malaysia’s local banana…same goes to the other banana…and a lot of corns..

We wandered for a while during the night and even Shara, the behemoth with layers of insulation, failed to withstand the cold……Guess we should hibernate like the bears…
I took my icy shower… and then I throw myself onto the very soft mattress with highly unstable frames..(god knows when the thing will give way) and called it a night…………

A September to remember……..

Okay, so i stole the title from my fellow blogger..so what?..sue me..haha

The 4 months of dull, boring and "did nothing at all" holidays has finally come to an end..Before this, i prayed to "whomever that is above" to end my miserable life (I’m talking bout the holidays here, if you are thinking about the other thing, know this, i’m immortal) but now i’m praying that the holidays will go on forever…

September, the month which I’ve been most active in…i did a lot of stuffs..a lot..first thing was the UK visa..Now i know how the British people became so blardy rich..Everyday around 300++ people paying a non-refundable RM 713 visa fee to the UK High Commission…and that’s only Malaysia..you do the maths.. The US Visa centre is silence as a graveyard..as far as i can see, there are ZERO, i repeat ZERO customers..Those people sitting inside are coming for the UK visa (overcrowded…had to sit in the US place) Here are some experiences and tips for those who wanna get the UK visa..

1. Don’t ever use your handphone in the centre..don’t even try to use it secretly…there’s a BITCHY guard who is able to sense the wave from your phones even though you are in a crowd of 300++ people…(Trust me, she has a damn good sensor)

2. Don’t wait at the lift area, get yourself a drink at the nearby cafe..the BITCHY guard will chase you away (actually politely?? ask you to go somewhere else) even though that’s a public area…

3. Remember to bring some books , magazine (I don’t care if it’s pornography) or some sleeping pills..otherwise you’ll be bored to death..

4. When submitting your documents, arrange them and give it straight to the officer. There’s no point asking questions as the answer will always bw "no comment".

5.Lastly, when you want to get back your passport, arrive at the centre 2 hours earlier. The officers there are 100% inefficient…

I was lucky enough to meet a girl there as I didn’t bring any books, magazines or sleeping pills..we chatted for hours and without knowing it, it was my turn…lol

The 2nd thing i did during September was a "food tour". I have been told that the British food is plain and only "edible". (But i think it’s definitely a million times better the "nasi campur lipas special/Special Mixed rice with cockroach"..for the full story, find it somewhere in this blog) So i guess it’s better if i satisfy my "taste buds" and my stomach before arriving at "the land with no great food and had to copy from orientals".

1st stop: Saisaki japanese buffet…it’s expensive and taste like shit now..sorry for using the word "shit" for describing food, but it’s seriously shit……

2nd stop: Ibrahim maju…I love the spices, curry and the BIG..BIG piece of chicken at an affordable price..(actually dirt cheap)

3rd stop: Jogoya japanese buffet in StarHill..introduced by someone who hasn’t been there…Luckily for him, the food was ok..(otherwise something terrible might happen) I like the drunken chicken, the beef and the fish..and of course, an unlimited supply of Haagen Daiz ice-creams.. I tried one of the herbal soups there, and guess what? It tastes like "Bak Chang / Chinese glutinous rice"..(now called "Bak Chang soup"… actually it’s Black Chicken Herbal Soup..the chicken is seriously black).. The price is around RM 100 per person, including tax…

4th stop: Chakri Palace..I love the "godlike chicken stuffed with crab meat" called Ponn Ja (I think..) and the bean curd. Some guy (The same guy that introduced Jogoya…) ordered the "Thai green curry" cause he-saw-a-lot-of-people-ordering-it-and-think-it’s-nice….I can only taste the strong coconut milk flavour in the curry……..The fruit punch was quite good….I wanted to try the drink called "orgasm"..but then it’s a public place..who knows what’ll happen after that…..

5th stop: Broga godlike fish…One of my favourite dishes of all times…one thing puzzles me though..I had more rice (4 servings) than the fish…is the rice even more godlike?

6th stop: Mooncakes…I’ve tried the mooncake stuffed with "strawberry and laici"…and it’s marvellous..Definitely going into my godlike list"

At the end of the food tour, i gained 12 pounds and stomach-ache for 3 consecutive days…but it’s worth it……

To be continued……..

Are you sure you are clean? Check this out!

25. It is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses.
24. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
23. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.
22. In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon.
21. Under the UK’s Tax Avoidance Schemes Regulations 2006, it is illegal not to tell the taxman anything you don’t want him to know, though you don’t have to tell him anything you don’t mind him knowing.
20. In Alabama, it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle.
19. In Ohio, it is against state law to get a fish drunk.
18. Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London.
17. In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.
16. In Lancashire, no person is permitted after being asked to stop by a constable on the seashore to incite a dog to bark.
15. In Miami, Florida, it is illegal to skateboard in a police station.
14. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation.
13. In England, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice a day.
12. In London, Freemen are allowed to take a flock of sheep across London Bridge without being charged a toll; they are also allowed to drive geese down Cheapside.
11. In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad.
10. In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle.
9. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on Sundays can be jailed.
8. In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long.
7. In Chester, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset.
6. In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.
5. In Boulder, Colorado, it is illegal to kill a bird within the city limits and also to “own” a pet – the town’s citizens, legally speaking, are merely “pet minders”.
4. In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
3. In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.
2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination; he may only see their reflection in a mirror.
1. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast is legally the property of the King; the tail, on the other hand, belongs to the Queen - in case she needs the bones for her corset.


Adapted from: Times Online
With thanks to: Donald Stewart at Faegre & Benson; John Barnett at Burges Salmon; Robert Crossley at Walker Morris; James Odds at Matthew Arnold & Baldwin; and Dan Kieran, author of I Fought The Law (Bantam Press).

The good old days...

Been clearing out some junks in my handphone…and found a bunch of photos which are yet to be put on the blog…*evil smile* (sorry for the resolution)

"Godlike" Fish:

BBQ party: The nightmarish BBQ party….almost "smoked" to death in the house…burnt a shoe-rack…(thank goodness it’s not the house!)

Lunch Breaks: Always go for early lunch but comes back late….truly enjoyed the lunch to the fullest….

Some mischievous things: (someone even climbed through the toilet window…guess who?)

Some unexpected things: (Observe the download speed which is using the TMNet HotSpot in the uni!!!)