THE SHOEBOX...

THE SHOEBOX

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything.They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little
Old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, ' my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue.

She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.' The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with Happiness. 'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?' 'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

A grand masterpiece...

Got a request from my collegue to change the person in the photo (for presentation purpose)....and this is what he got from me:

Busy week ahead...

Here's something to make up for the absence of new entries....been really busy lately

Stupid photos taken from my Taiwan trip in May 2011:

Stop making stupid suggestions!!!

New and effective law to reduce accident on Malaysian roads...

I'm sick of getting stuck in the traffic jam which is caused by some dumb idiots on the highway (caused by human error i.e. speeding, zig-zagging and not natural causes). Therefore, I strongly suggest our government to look into implementing my little suggestion here:

• If a driver has caused an accident (due to human error) and that lead to heavy traffic jam on the road/highway, all other motorists passing by the site is required to spit on the offender.
• The punishment will last for a minimum of 2 hours.
• Fine will be imposed on the motorist who, for some reasons, decided not to spit on the offender.
• If the offender requires medical attendance/hospitalisation from the accident (injuries), he/she will be place in public areas (shopping malls or toll booth) for the public to spit at. The duration is set at a minimum of 2 hours.
• The duration of the punishment depends on the severity of the offense.

If this law is passed in the parliament, I'm pretty sure the accident rate can be reduced by at least 80% .....

What do car manufacturers say when there is a defect??

BMW: We'll fix it on the spot, no matter where you are, we will resolve your problems instantly. If you choose to come to our workshop, we will have the 5 star lounge, complete with a 52 LED TV, a massage chair, a mini bar and all the sport channels at your disposal. Once again, sorry for the inconvenience caused.

Toyota/Honda: We put our main priority on our customer. We will recall back the cars and replace the faulty parts at no cost.

General Motors: We will recall back all the cars that is having the problem and fix them as soon as possible. Hey, Toyota is having the same issue too!!!

Proton: Live with it...

Modern Deadly Arts of the Samurai

Just say "Yes!!!"....

Their tagline.."Just say Yes"

I've never visited their booth and this is the scenario that will most likely happen:

Salesgirl: Hi sir, do you want to see our packages?

me: Yes....

Salesgirl: Sir, we are having great discount for the premium package, now only RM 1899. Would you like to register for it sir?

me: Yes...

Salesgirl: Sir, would you like to upgrade to the super-deluxe premium VIP package? It's only an extra RM 600.

me: Yes...

Salesgirl: Would you like to take this "i-have-no-idea-what-is-this-but-just-put-it-here-for-fun-so-i-can-con-some-suckers" promotional pack too?

me: Yes...

Salesgirl: Ok great!!! That will be a total of RM 3500 after discount. Would you like to pay by card?

me: Yes...

After walking out of the place..

my conscience: Do you regret?

me: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

We no longer need "Tongkat Ali"....

redirected from the star online


Tuesday November 9, 2010

Watching porn can help cure PE condition

WATCHING porn movies can help cure premature ejaculation, experts said.

Sin Chew Daily reported that a man who was diagnosed with prostatitis went to seek treatment at a hospital in Guizhou, China, and was asked to watch porn movies.

He paid S$120 (RM288) for the treatment.

Singapore urologist Dr Lin Fa Cai said the hospital might want the patient to masturbate while watching the movies, in order for him to discharge “unhealthy sperm”.

He said the movies used in such treatments were specially selected.

Dr Yang Zhi Jian from a men’s health clinic in Singapore said watching porn films could help as patients learn skills to improve their sex lives.

He, however, said he had never used the method before.

Another sex expert, Dr Yu Wei Siang, said the method could stimulate the production of male hormones.

Tongkat Ali, as quoted from wikipedia

"most Southeast Asians consume it for the plant's impact on sexual conduct. Already in 2001, Malaysian scientific researchers opened their peer-reviewed, Medline-archived report on Eurycoma longifolia's effect on lab rats with the statement "that Eurycoma longifolia Jack commonly known as Tongkat Ali has gained notoriety as a symbol of man's ego and strength by the Malaysian men because it increases male virility and sexual prowess during sexual activities."^[6]"

God's game...

Redirected from: www.switched.com

Court or Stand-Up Comedy?

Malaysia has a bunch of great comedians...(UPDATED)

Redirected from the Star Online:

Clown of the day

KUALA LUMPUR, Aug 18: The line of questioning on Thai pathologist Dr Pornthip Rojanasunand during the hearing of the inquest into the death of Teoh Beng Hock this morning bordered on personal attacks and comic relief, but did not amuse those in the gallery.

Among them were PAS's Kuala Selangor member of parliament Dr Dzulkefly Ahmad, who, twitting from the proceedings, described the conduct of the MACC lawyer Abdul Razak Musa, as "baffling".

“Can't take the stupidity of ridiculous questioning from the prosecutor [sic]... baffling... imagine this joker gonna be a judge one day," he remarked.

Dzulkefly was clearly not the only one questioning Razak's conduct during the proceeding, which among others tried to raise doubts on Pornthip’s credibility by asking her whether she had testified in any court outside of Thailand prior to the inquest.

But the questioning threatened to border on humour when Razak, in his attempt to raise doubts about the renowned forensic expert's academic qualification, declared that she was not qualified as a forensic expert in Malaysia because the Mahidol University from which she graduated "was not recognised by the Malaysian government".

In response, Pornthip (left) told the inquest that her university was among the top five in Asia and delivered a rebuttal to silence an enthusiastic Razak.

"You have to understand. I work for the rights of the dead, not the Selangor government," she said, drawing applause from those in the room.

On Pornthip's conclusion that there were strangulation marks on Teoh's neck, Razak pointed out that Teoh could have strangled himself as the other four doctors had found no such evidence. When Teoh's lawyer Gobind Singh Deo asked Razak to demonstrate how one could strangle himself, Razak quickly obliged, only to draw more jeers.

"Did my learned friend just say he strangled himself?” quipped Gobind, drawing another big burst of laughter from court.

Razak then accused Pornthip of having the intention to attack the MACC, to which Pornthip replied she had supported her report with scientific arguments.

The fighthing mood in Pornthip finally gave way, with her throwing a questioning at Razak whether he was a lawyer, to which Razak referred to their age difference, saying although he was younger than her, he had 24 years of experience as a lawyer.

Teoh was the political secretary to Selangor executive councillor Ean Yong Hian Wah, and was found dead on the fifth floor of Plaza Masalam in Shah Alam on July 16 last year, shortly after being interrogated by MACC at its office on the 14th floor of the same building.

Today's appearance by Dr Pornthip was her second at the inquest. The hearing was later adjourned, leaving the likes of Dzulkefly to wonder whether he had been attending a murder inquest or a comic sketch.

“I've enough comedy for a year! Thanks to this joker," he twitted about Razak.

---

Bravo...another showcase of stupidity....I almost laughed to death in the office when I read the news....Malaysia Boleh...

Came across an image of the clown strangling himself...enjoy

Great Minds Looks Think-A-Like...

They are not twins, but they look alike, think alike and act alike.... One is the head of Perkasa...the other fella setting up Perjasa.....

Who's up to setting up PerXasa???

With condition: You must look like, act like and talk like the fellas above...sorry DPM..

if only I have the looks....

More info:
PERKASA
PERJASA -opposite of the above.. a non bumiputra pressure group to counter against Perkasa..


Photo credit: Malaysiakini and Google

We need driving test for animals...

Redirected from BBC news: link here

US bear takes short ride in car and leaves it wrecked

The interior of the Toyota was destroyed as the bear fought to get out

A bear climbed into an empty car in the US state of Colorado, sounded the horn and sent the vehicle rolling down hill with the terrified animal still inside.

The car's owner, 17-year-old Ben Story, took a snap of the panic-stricken bear as it demolished the inside of his vehicle in its bid to escape.

Police in Larkspur, near Denver, eventually freed the animal by opening the door from a distance using a rope.

It is believed the bear was attracted by a sandwich left on the back seat.

Mr Story and his family were asleep when the bear opened the unlocked door of his 2008 Toyota Corolla in the early hours of the morning and climbed inside.

'Flashers on'

Mr Story's father, Ralph, said the bear must have hit the car's automatic transmission into neutral sending it rolling backwards 125ft (38m), off the driveway, down an embankment and into a thicket of trees.

"The four-way flashers were on. It's like he knew what was going on, and kept hitting the horn," he told Denver's 7News.

Once the car door closed behind the bear, it was trapped inside.

Ben Story said his car was wrecked.

"It [the bear] was a pretty good size, actually it was pretty big. If you look at the inside of the car, there's nothing left at all. You could see it moving around, it like took up the entire inside of the car."

The bear was last seen running into the woods.

Colorado wildlife expert Tyler Baskfield said bears often entered cars and houses in search of food.

"It happens all the time," he said. "They're very smart."

If you think "Ching-Chong" translated English is funny....guess again

Note: All the images are forwarded to me by my friend. Credit goes to the owner of the images.

You sure can get tonnes of Wieners here...

It's a hotdog shag..shack....

Been out of action for weeks because....

I was following the best comedy series ever...


Synopsis:

A 20 year old dude somewhat "unwillingly" penetrated by a 60-year-old man and decided to keep the "evidence" in the ass for 2 days before suing the old man....

What I like:

Very interesting plot and twists...though the storyline is very dumb and almost identical to Sodomy I. And the 60-year-old dude managed to overpower a tall, strong 20-year-old dude and forced him to submit "unwillingly"...A lot of big names in it too...

What I dislike:

Able to predict the ending since episode 1...no suspense at all

Warning:

Tonnes of "shit" inside.....And you might die of laughter viewing it...

Image credit: malaysianstory

Google's ultimate goal - World Domination....

An update from my previous post: Google will soon take over the internet..

It appears that Google is not satisfy with only the internet world, now the clutches of Google has extended to our home t.v!!!

"Your next TV could be a Google TV, made by Sony and powered by Intel chips. The three companies have teamed up to build what will be called the Google TV, essentially a big-screen living-room computer.

The TV project, according to the New York Times, is still under wraps, but that hasn’t stopped the details from leaking. The GTV will be based on the Android OS, and come in the form of both a set-top box and actual TV-sets. There will be regular television, of course, but also Hulu, YouTube and other web-video sources, as well as games and apps for social networking.

It makes so much sense we wonder why we didn’t see it coming. TV is one of the few advertising markets Google isn’t yet in, the company has an OS ready to go, and Google’s simple UI designs are perfect for couch-surfing. The Google TV will even have the Chrome browser built-in.

The reason for a partnership with Intel is pretty obvious — we expect the TV will use some form of Atom chip. But why would Sony get involved? According to the NYT, Sony sees it as a competitive advantage in a very difficult market. It’s right. Who wouldn’t buy a TV with Google inside?

The Google TV appears to be close. Developer tools are expected in the next two months, and Logitech has reportedly been approached to make peripherals such as speakers and a QWERTY-equipped remote. This could be huge, and a further blow to the PC industry. If you have the internet in your television, and a tablet appliance like the iPad to carry around, who needs a desktop or even a laptop computer?"

Read More http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2010/03/google-tv-google-sony-intel-team-up-to-make-television/#ixzz0iXHm18Vi

I won't be surprised when they announce Google fast food, Google rice, Google clothing lines or Google air (not the macbook air, it's the air we breathe in..). In the next 20 years, we will be known as Googleans and speak the native Googlish language....

Never provoke Malaysian women...

More Women getting nastier behind the wheel

GEORGE TOWN: Women drivers are getting more aggressive than their male counterparts, according to an analyst.

Based on the number of traffic summonses issued and court cases against women, a trend of aggressive driving has emerged among the fairer sex, said Malaysian Crime Prevention Foundation analyst Kamal Affandi Hashim.

“Based on what we can see, the attitude of male drivers has improved but women are getting more aggressive.

“Hence, the number of women involved in accidents is on the rise,” he said.

He, however, did not state statistics.

Noting that the attitude of drivers was the main cause of road accidents, Kamal said it was crucial for road users to practise defensive driving.

“Drivers who are aggressive, emotional and distracted while driving are dangerous.

“Most people will, at one time or another, feel like strangling their fellow drivers but it becomes a criminal act when you follow up on that intention with an aggressive act (such as chasing after a vehicle),” he said at the Rakan Trafik@USM road safety campaign at Universiti Sains Malaysia here yesterday.

Malaysian Institute of Road Safety Research (Miros) director-general Prof Dr Ahmad Farhan Mohd Sadullah said Malaysians generally felt that they were “Superman” and would never end up as an accident casualty.

“It’s their attitudes that cause accidents. The think they are invincible, not even wanting to wear safety belts.

“Perhaps it’s ego. They just want to be faster and better than the next driver,” said Dr Ahmad.

He said it was easier for people to change their attitudes than for enforcement bodies to step in.

He added that Miros was working with several insurance companies to reward “good drivers” but the plan would have to get the approval of Bank Negara.

Credit: The Star online

Author's remark: Don't ever mention gender bias in Malaysia, females are the bosses in this part of the world.... It won't be long before they are allowed to have 4 husbands..legally

Weird afternoon....

It all started when my friend George who just came back from UK and I were having lunch at Kim Gary in Sungai Wang plaza. We were chatting and cranking some jokes while having our lunch just like any other people there. George is a "funny" mad clown, and I am a crazy "Retard". We literally "exploded" the restaurant with our laughter. We were laughing so hard and our voice can shatter any glass object.

After our lunch, George told me that some girls at the table behind us were taking photos of us and a girl beside our table was laughing at our jokes (Eavesdropping??). I didn't manage to catch that scene (taking our photograph) as the girls were sitting behind me. To be honest, I was really surprised that someone is actually taking photographs of us!! (Not sure if its true, maybe the clown is making things up....or maybe we are just too hot!! Yes, we were really hot....sweating like ice melting under the hot sun)

p.s. A message to the girls behind me, if it is true that you are taking photos of us...can I have a copy of it? Thanks!!!!

Just for laughs...It's actually "Sons of Dorn"...

Some "Facts" about Malaysia...

1. Do you know that Malaysians are capable of breaking anything in the world?
Answer: Nothing in the world is unbreakable for a Malaysian...These are among the favorites... Laws, Promises, Houses....etc

2. Do you know why there is no Malaysian team in World Cup?
Answer: Because The Malaysian Cup is much bigger than the World Cup....(pic below)

3. Do you know what Malaysians hate?
Answer: Patience

4. Do you know what is the greatest fear among Malaysians?
Answer: ISA

5. Do you know that Malaysian politicians are also Hollywood grade producers and actors?
Answer: Check out the some of the best action movies like Dual Perak MB, The Chronicles of Anwar, MCA Wars etc and you'll be amazed!!!

6. Do you know what will never increase in Malaysia?
Answer: Salary

7. Do you know what Malaysians have for breakfast every morning?
Answer: Traffic Jam

8. Do you know that Malaysian companies provide the worst ever "over the counter" services in the world?
Answer: Most of the counters are empty even thought the workers are there....taking there own sweet time doing their own business...

9. Do you know that Malaysians are getting smarter and smarter every year?
Answer: More students are getting straight As in the public exams over the years...

10. Do you know that public transports in Malaysia are just illusions?
Answer: They never existed, that's why everyone owns a Proton even though it sucks....

11. Do you know that Malaysians are natural F1 racers?
Answer: Malaysians are born to drive. Michael Schumacher will shit his pants when he drives on Malaysian highways.....

12: Do you know that "Highwaymen" in Malaysia are paying tolls instead of collecting them?
Answer: That's is why no Malaysian is fond of being highwayman....